Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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