I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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