I have demons in me.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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