When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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