She said her name was "party"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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