That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
