Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
