The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
