Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
