She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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