He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
