Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
