if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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