weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
