brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
