And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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