The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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