Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
