aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
