Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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