dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
