i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
