My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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