just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
