Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
