My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
