i don't like sucking hair
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
