today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
