i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
