Cold hands, warm shart.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
