I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
