i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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