Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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