this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
