I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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