Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
