I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
