why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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