The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How external is "for external use only"?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
