what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
