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I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
