he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
