I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
