He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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