Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
