Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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