FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
