I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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