My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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