YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
