it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
